Someday I'll be a real blog!
Sorry for the lack of updates for a bit. I've been super busy planning and attending events the last couple weeks. And sick again.
I wanted to jump on here and say a quick Happy Pride Month! At this point in my life it feels like I've been collecting pride flags. I'm trans masc non-binary, pansexual, demisexual, play at polyamory sometimes. There's a reason I just tend to say Queer.
Ironically, the only one of those flags I actually own is the non-binary one.
So why is all this important?
More than being just how I see myself and others (which is super important in its own right), it informs how I see and experience the world. If you're queer, you understand. If not, listen up and maybe you'll learn something.
I've had to invent myself without help from the formats that society clings to. That's the reason people tend to accumulate labels like that. If you're cis and straight, you have a playbook you're running from that us queer folks just don't have. We create it for ourselves and our communities. We look inside of ourselves and ask who we are and who we want to be. And each one of us comes out beautifully unique because of it. It's a wonderful, and exhausting, thing. We are creatures of our own creation.
I think I like the creature I've become.
First hint into my life on here, guess I should tell you guys I am not doing great.
I feel like a shadow of a person sometimes. Days spent in bed because my body is too stressed to keep me from getting sick. And of course that makes it worse when paycheck time comes around.
In a good world, I'd be able to create a life for myself with my art. I'd be able to take it at a pace that's healthy for me. I wouldn't be so stressed I get sick every couple weeks and work so hard my joints try to freeze up.
Maybe that world is possible. I need to believe that.
Well we're here now! Don't mind how awful this page looks. I'll work on it more later but for now I just want it to exist. And it does! Welcome to the world, SmallCat Blog!
I'm still learning a lot of things about web development. The majority of the coding I've done has been in game engines, so this is definitely a change. Writing all of the code from scratch has been a wild time, but I'm having fun so far. My motivation is always a fickle creature but for now it feels like I'm going to keep at this for a while. I'm sorry in advance if there's any long breaks in updates.
For now I think my main goal should be learning what I'm doing and trying new things. I am coding this on a separate program so y'all won't see all of the trial and error but maybe I'll include some "bloopers" as easter eggs. Maybe. We'll see.